Wk 2, Comment 2 Keith Lay . Rule # 6

 The Art of Possibility - Contribution - Leadership - Rule #6

To contribute is human; whatever we do affects the communities to which we belong - whether consciously or not. Even a smile is a contribution. When we deliberately contribute to a chosen community in a positive way: that is, to give time, energy and attention to it - it is a valuable gift. However, this only works if the contribution is done out of pure generosity  - or as Zander puts it - from the 'central self'. This part of us has many other names: Heart, Soul, Inner-Fire, Spirit, Small Clear Voice, God Self. No outcome is desired by our central self so we are not hurt if the gift is rejected, damaged or unnoticed. Teachers have a large capacity for this kind of contribution. 

The calculating self, on the other hand, has an agenda when it comes to giving: there is always something it desires in return.  When we contribute to be recognized as a more enlightened person we are doing it in order to improve our standing. The assumptions such a gift is made with is an 'it's all made up anyways'  purely calculated construction to create or support a belief in ourselves. When this kind of contribution is rejected our calculating self is hurt. What a challenge this brings to living! Our corporate, social life in the US requires our calculating self to effectively navigate. We naturally fall to this mode of thinking in order to get our work done. This in turn defines our social status and/or income. This in turn can repudiate our calculating self-esteem. If we are doing something for a job other than what we believe in, we have dis-integrated and stress between the two kinds of living creates confusion and ill health. What a challenge it is to live true to one's central self in today's world because you have to be willing to surrender everything you own or have achieved.

Coming from a poor family from a poor area, I had always been mystified how smart and capable 'lower class' folks could be content with their financial scarcity and lack of social status. I spent much of my life climbing ladders and proving myself to the world. I wanted to make a mark! I wanted better. I learned most about myself when my work was rejected, my reputation damaged, my career sabotaged by another. My calculating self was hurt - and my world teetered. Leading from every chair, low or high, by contributing with the central self is the answer to the mystery of how 'poor people' can live in contentment. Those folks knew what I didn't all along.

This challenge of living is so much easier to do if I JUST FOLLOW RULE NUMBER SIX !!

Posted on Saturday, July 17, 2010

 

Keith, You did it again.  I like to read what you write.  I was poor growing up and not much better now.  There was a real neat thing about mine growing up and that was somehow my parents made it all seem just right that we were growing up the way we did.  My Dad was a Sgt. in the Army.  Of course, Sgts. just don't make the money that officers make.  When you move, you can't even take the same amount of weight, unless you pay for the extra, and how can the people who make less pay for more?  Also, you live on post and the officers live in the nicer apartments or houses.  

I remember in 3rd grade, in Fort Hood, TX, one thing my mom did was make Doozies for us to drink.  We lived in an apartment complex of 8 apartments in each group.  They seem big because each one had upstairs and a basement, 3 bedrooms and 1 bathroom.  All the kids would play in the big backyard and there were at least 8 or 9 in a big circle with a big grassy area in the back circle that was everyone's back yard.  There were always lots of kids out playing and all the moms would bring drinks out for us on hot summer days.  Mostly water.  But my Mom made doozies with the magic spoon and my Daddy's dirty socks.  She made  a big pot of drink and when you stirred it fast and let go, the wooden spoon turned and turned all alone!  Hence, the Magic Spoon.  Kids couldn't wait to see the magic spoon work.

Also, she told us why Doozies tasted so good, and it was because she put my Daddy's dirty socks in.  We all squealed and moaned and groaned, but she pulled out all the little tupperware cups and we all got some of the best drink we ever had!  Kids went home talking about Doozies!

I later learned that lightweight wooden spoons turn in circles when you spin them fast.  As for the dirty socks, my Mom put various types of koolaid with frozen orange juice.  It made all the difference in the world.  My daddy had the most famous dirty socks in the neighborhood. 

To think my Mom's fun and imagination made Koolaid and frozen orange juice with all the water added for the Koolaid and frozen OJ, made a nice, cheap, but good for you drink.   I never felt poor.  Afterall, kids came from far and wide to drink doozies. 

My Mom and Dad must have known the Rule already.